Coordinate · matching moat
Match alignment map.
The hard part of matching is not a personality quiz. It is whether you already agree on communication, privacy, medical expectations, and life after birth — before contracts freeze the conversation.
Two-sided · no compatibility score
Intended parents and surrogates answer the same topics privately. The map highlights what is already aligned, what is still discussable, and what needs a guided conversation — never a single match score.
Communication cadence
How often should updates flow during pregnancy?
Pregnancy updates
Preferred channel for day-to-day updates?
Social media & privacy
What is comfortable for social media during the journey?
Medical decision expectations
How should routine medical choices be handled?
Travel during pregnancy
Expectations around travel (work trips, holidays, clinic travel)?
Delivery room
Who should be in the delivery room?
Contact after birth
Desired relationship after birth?
Pumping / breast milk
Interest in pumping or milk for the baby?
Termination & reduction discussions
How should hard medical scenarios be approached?
Family involvement
How involved should extended family be during pregnancy?
Expenses & reimbursements
How should day-to-day reimbursements feel?
Map summary
0
Aligned
0
Discussable
0
Needs attention
11
Not discussed
Alignment statuses are structural comparisons of stated preferences — not a compatibility score, personality match, or prediction of journey success.
Topic-by-topic
- Communication cadenceNot yet discussedIP: —Surrogate: —This topic (communication cadence) is not fully answered on both sides yet.Mismatch here is the #1 friction after matching.
- Pregnancy updatesNot yet discussedIP: —Surrogate: —This topic (pregnancy updates) is not fully answered on both sides yet.Agency apps, text, and group chats feel very different in practice.
- Social media & privacyNot yet discussedIP: —Surrogate: —This topic (social media & privacy) is not fully answered on both sides yet.Photos, names, and clinic stories travel fast online.
- Medical decision expectationsNot yet discussedIP: —Surrogate: —This topic (medical decision expectations) is not fully answered on both sides yet.Legal contracts set floors; lived preference still needs a conversation.
- Travel during pregnancyNot yet discussedIP: —Surrogate: —This topic (travel during pregnancy) is not fully answered on both sides yet.Monitoring clinics and third trimester often constrain travel.
- Delivery roomNot yet discussedIP: —Surrogate: —This topic (delivery room) is not fully answered on both sides yet.Hospital policy + personal comfort collide here — decide early.
- Contact after birthNot yet discussedIP: —Surrogate: —This topic (contact after birth) is not fully answered on both sides yet.Open, semi-open, and closed contact models all work — only when shared.
- Pumping / breast milkNot yet discussedIP: —Surrogate: —This topic (pumping / breast milk) is not fully answered on both sides yet.Pumping is optional, time-intensive, and often compensated separately.
- Termination & reduction discussionsNot yet discussedIP: —Surrogate: —This topic (termination & reduction discussions) is not fully answered on both sides yet.These clauses must be lawyered — but early preference gaps should surface before match.
- Family involvementNot yet discussedIP: —Surrogate: —This topic (family involvement) is not fully answered on both sides yet.Grandparents and siblings often want access the match pair never discussed.
- Expenses & reimbursementsNot yet discussedIP: —Surrogate: —This topic (expenses & reimbursements) is not fully answered on both sides yet.Lost wages, childcare, and mileage create friction when expectations differ.
Next steps
- Finish unanswered topics on both sides — partial maps hide risk.
- coordinator: Which conflict or discussable topics should we resolve before legal drafts freeze expectations?
- intended-parent: What contact after birth do both sides want written into the matching memo?