During pregnancy: regular updates (frequency varies), attendance at appointments (especially ultrasounds), direct communication via text/email/video, holiday and birthday acknowledgments. At delivery: presence in delivery room (if desired), immediate bonding with baby, respect for surrogate's recovery needs. After birth varies from annual updates to ongoing friendship, photos and milestone updates common, some...
Overview
This guide answers “How much contact will we have with our surrogate?” for intended parents, with a focus on planning, common variables, and the questions that reduce risk and surprises.
Typical workflow (high level)
- Clarify your plan: clinic choice, embryo plan, and timeline goals.
- Build your team: agency coordination, legal counsel, and insurance/escrow planning.
- Matching: preferences, introductions, and alignment on expectations.
- Legal + medical readiness: contracts, clinic clearance, and scheduling.
- Pregnancy + delivery: coordinated care, milestones, and parentage steps.
What can vary (and why)
- Clinic schedules and medical protocols (individualized to the situation).
- State and international legal requirements (especially for parentage workflows).
- Matching preferences and availability (fit matters).
- Insurance and financial structure (coverage details can change).
- Logistics like travel, time zones, and appointment availability.
Questions to ask (so you don’t get surprised later)
- What are the next 2–3 steps in my specific situation?
- What documents or records should I prepare before we start?
- Which decisions should I make now vs later?
- Who will be my primary point of contact during the journey?
- How will we communicate and share updates (email, calls, portal)?
- What are the typical milestones from start to finish?
- How do we establish parentage and protect everyone legally?
- What should we confirm with the fertility clinic before matching?
Next steps
Important note
This page is educational information only and is not medical, legal, or tax advice. Always confirm specifics with qualified professionals and your care team.
See the sources section below for reference links when available.