Emotional Support for Intended Parents: Best Practices During the Waiting Period

Becoming a parent through surrogacy is transformative, but it’s also emotional, especially during the waiting period—the time between embryo transfer and when pregnancy is confirmed. For many intended parents, this phase can bring hope, anxiety, excitement, and uncertainty all at once. Understanding how to support yourself emotionally during this time is not only helpful—it’s essential.

What Makes the Waiting Period So Emotionally Intense?

The waiting period can feel like a psychological limbo. You’ve completed the medical step of an embryo transfer and are hopeful, yet you’re also awaiting confirmation of a pregnancy that doesn’t feel “real” until it’s medically verified. Research on fertility treatments shows that anticipation can be one of the strongest stressors because it involves hope + uncertainty without closure (Briggs, J., Fertility Psychology Today, 2023).

Common emotional experiences during this time include:

Anxiety or fear about outcomes
Feeling “on edge” or vigilant for signs
Emotional swings—hope followed by doubt
Difficulty focusing on daily life
Feeling isolated or misunderstood

Understanding that these feelings are normal can be grounding—and help lessen self‑judgment.

Why Communication Matters

Maintaining open, intentional communication with your surrogate and your care team is one of the best emotional supports you can build.

Why it helps:

Reduces uncertainty
Reinforces shared goals
Strengthens partner‑to‑surrogate trust
Lowers anxiety by keeping you informed

Best practices include:

Setting agreed‑upon check‑in times (e.g., weekly text update + one video call)
Choosing communication formats that feel comfortable (texts, emails, calls)
Discussing boundaries early so expectations are clear

According to The Complete Surrogacy Guide (2024), intended parents who establish regular communication patterns report lower stress levels and higher satisfaction with the process.

Create a Supportive External Network

While your surrogate and medical team are critical supports, so are your personal networks.

Types of support that help:

Friends + family who listen without judgment
Support groups with other intended parents
Online communities, which provide shared experiences
Therapists or counselors trained in reproductive emotions

Many intended parents underestimate how lonely the waiting period can feel. Research in the Journal of Reproductive Psychology (2021) found that those who connect with peers or professionals report significantly less anxiety and better emotional outcomes than those who isolate.

Evidence‑Based Emotional Support Strategies

Here are practices that go beyond intuition and are supported by research:

1. Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness practices can reduce stress responses and improve emotional regulation by training the brain to focus on the present moment rather than on uncertainty or “what ifs.”

Try guided meditation
Use apps like Headspace or Calm
Set aside 10 minutes daily

2. Physical Activity

Movement isn’t just good for your body—it helps regulate cortisol (the stress hormone). Activities like walking, swimming, or yoga elevate mood and improve sleep quality.

3. Journaling

Writing your thoughts helps you process emotions rather than suppress them. Daily journaling reduces anxiety by providing clarity and perspective.

4. Creative Outlets

Engaging in art, music, or hands‑on hobbies provides emotional release and builds positive engagement away from worry.

Practical Routines to Support Stability

Building routines fosters emotional resilience. Some examples include:

Scheduled check‑ins: One to two updates per week
Relaxation rituals: Warm baths, calming music, tea time
Social engagement: One social activity each week
Sleep consistency: Sleeping and waking at the same time

Routines create psychological stability that buffers emotional turbulence.

Understanding What You Can — and Can’t — Control

One reason the waiting period feels difficult is that you can’t control the outcome. But you can control your reaction, support systems, and self‑care.

Helpful mindset shifts include:

Focusing on small actions (e.g., self‑care routines)
Acknowledging emotions without trying to suppress them
Accepting that feeling uncertain is normal

You Are Not Alone

The waiting period isn’t just part of the medical journey—it’s a human experience. With intentional self‑care, communication, and a supportive network, you can honor your emotions and build strength that carries you forward.